There’s someone I know who doesn’t answer his phone because it is permanently set to silent mode. After every few hours or so, he’ll check his phone and returns calls to those he wishes to return calls to. Same with text messages. This same person refuses to put the number of his house outside his residence, despite complains by the postal authorities. “Get used to it,” he told the postman. He’s secretive about what he really does for a living, but wants to know everything about everyone. What he does for a living is shrouded in secrecy, and any information he shares is released through drips and drabs, giving the impression that hoi polloi like the rest of us are not deserving enough to enjoy full disclosure from him, an international jet-setter.
I consider this type of person wishy-washy.
Some people are just walking shells, externals with legs, completely superficial and fake.
Remember the story of the Velveteen Rabbit?
It asked the Skin Horse one day, “What is real?”
And the Skin Horse said, “Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Velveteen Rabbit .
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “But when you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
Maybe the person I mentioned feels vulnerable being real, that’s why all that façade.
When a person has to put up a front, it says a lot about that person.
Being Real sometimes hurts. The alternative to being real, however, is unimaginable.
But the reward for being Real?
Back to the wise Skin Horse; he said “Once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.”
What better way to live than to be authentic and genuine?
People who are Real, affirm the following in their self-talk:
“I am not handsome, but I am a person of intellect. Take me for what I am.”
“I may be a school dropout, but I am no less a child of the universe.”
“I am the way I am, accept me for who I am, warts and all.”
“My time will come, don’t rush me.”
“I am not slim and sexy but I don’t have a body image problem. Why are you having problems with the way I look?”
“I am not wealthy, but I cease to compare with others who may be wealthier but lead less fulfilling lives.”
“I refuse to give others permission to upset me.”
“No matter how you look at me, I am proud of myself, I have no problem accepting myself. Because your opinion of me does not affect me.”
“I have every right to express joy and as well as sorrow, courage and fear, peace and anxiety. I am only human.”
“Precisely because I am human, I want to be needed and wanted and liked and loved.”
“I try to be self-actualized. I take my own time. If others judge me, so what?”
I would hate to live a life that sees me hesitant to take phone calls, or to display my house number. It’s a worse life than being a jail breaker, isn’t it? It’s as if this person has deep, dark secrets to hide.
And the saddest part of it all?
It’s not even necessary. We worry a lot more about what others think about us than what others really think. That is, if they think about us at all. So no need for all that paranoia.
So drop that act, and get Real.
No one loves a phony.